Unplug

The encouragement to “unplug” is everywhere. And as annoying as it is, it’s with good reason. 

There are buckets of data to show that the time we spend “on call” to check alerts on our phones has long-term detrimental effects on our mental and physical health. As humans, we need a natural level of anxiety to survive, but the mere sound of our phone can trigger a fight or flight response. Your body doesn’t immediately know the difference between a threat and a phone notification. The brain has to assess the context of the ALERT, but in the meantime that anxiety response gets kicked into gear. Every time you get an alert there’s a potential for your body to have this response. That’s a lot of stress over the span of a life.

About five years ago I turned off all notifications on my phone except for staples: texts, calls, calendar alerts. I noticed near-immediate changes in my wellbeing. I checked social media way less because there wasn’t anything encouraging me to check in at all times of the day and night. I felt less “on call” to respond to messages the second they arrived. In general, I was interacting with my phone less and staying present more. 

But is it possible to ever FULLY unplug? Personally, I don’t think that is a super responsible thing. I think you should check in with your phone a couple times a day in case there is some kind of emergency. It’s no different than when we had landlines and answering machines you could dial into and see what your messages were. Or before those, if you left, you’d let your friends and family know where you were staying in case they wanted to reach you. 

That said, I do think there are a few steps you can take to get closer to feeling less “on call” which is what triggers the “fight or flight.” 

1. Acknowledge that your nervous system is for the time being VERY accustomed to the constant pings. So start by turning off non-essential notifications. Or go a step further and put your phone on silent. You may feel immediate relief like I did, but you may also feel a type of sadness as your brain starts to understand, “It’s not that no one is talking to me. It’s that I’m making space for myself.” 
2. Get a smartwatch that will tell you when you have texts or calls so that you don’t have to pick up the phone to look (preferably one that doesn’t allow you to respond so you aren’t tempted to do so). Once the phone is in your hand, your habits will take over and you’ll be tapping into your socials in no time. You can get smartwatches/fitness trackers for as cheap as $40 (probably less tbh). When I got one of these, it freed me up to leave my phone in the other room and only check in if I got a text or call that actually needed answering. It helps break the need to immediately answer because your phone simply isn’t with you. 
3. Along those lines, leave your phone in another room. If you’re really struggling to disconnect, please know that’s normal and you’re far from alone. Little exercises like this can help break the cycle. If you’re watching TV, put your phone in another room and commit to leaving it there for the entire episode. This will help break you of doomscrolling, fracturing your attention and harming your mental wellbeing. 
4. Commit to only checking in with the news once or twice a day. I recently tried this as part of a digital detox for 10 days and the habit stuck. Instead of seeking to stay “up to date” on everything, I chose not to. I listened to a quick 15min news podcast in the morning and one at night so that I knew the headlines of the day, but that was it. Whenever I get caught up in the news cycle again, I can physically feel how much it stresses me out. So if you’re able to, I highly recommend trying to limit your time with the news. It was incredible how much space it made in my day to listen to entertaining podcasts, audiobooks, and anything else that made me feel uplifted instead of mired in the muckraking. 

There are entire books written about this topic, so I’ll stop there. But these are four easily actionable things you can do today that will make an immediate and tremendous improvement in your mental health. You don't have to do all of them; start with one that you think is helpful and go from there. This is a super impactful way to be 1% better that will reap decades of rewards for your mind and body. Give it a try!