Stillness

Stillness is my own personal hell. I like moments of silence, especially after a day full of meetings or some other long, loud activity... but when I say “silence” I mean silence with a dash of noise. I typically have gentle background jazz or classical music playing at all times. I blame my addiction to background noise on all of the times my mom took me to Nordstrom as a kid and I’d listen to the piano player. But complete silence — especially long stretches of it — is tough for me. 

This week I read the book "Stillness is the Key" by Ryan Holiday, and it was challenging and compelling in quite a few ways. I won’t try to summarize them here (you should definitely read it if you’re interested), but I want to talk about the concept of stillness in general. 

Stillness gives us space to be ourselves, and in some cases to learn who we are. Stillness frees us from the constantly moving world, with its endless pings, dings, alerts, and activities. As I write this, I’m also thinking about the dinner that’s cooking on the stove, the text alert that just buzzed on my watch, and the yoga class this evening that I forgot to register for. All of that is far from being still, but it’s likely a familiar situation to many of us. 

With all of that going on, how can we possibly quiet ourselves down enough to turn inward? 

Which brings me to this week’s challenge…

What does stillness look like? Well, exactly like what you think it is. But many times we need to be still on purpose. 

After I finished the book, I decided to consciously incorporate stillness into my life. And it is a GRIND. I like to listen to music when I write and meditate. I like to listen to audiobooks and podcasts as often as possible. You will almost never find me without an earbud in one ear. I like to have sports on at least one T.V. every waking moment. But if I’m doing those things, my mind is never completely still. I’m also a fidgeter and paradoxically nothing makes me fidget quite like being still. 

But this week I sought out opportunities to be still. I went to the beach and laid there with no music on, just listening to the sounds of the waves, letting my mind be free. It was nice… for about five minutes. Then I wanted music and a book to read. I went to a yoga class where the teacher happened to be one who doesn’t play music in class. Though my body was moving, my mind was challenged to be still and keep my breath even. When done as it’s intended, yoga is a moving meditation. But it’s still not completely still. So, it hasn’t been a great success pursuing stillness in my life but I am going to continue trying. The benefits are too great and necessary not to! 

This week, to be 1% better I will continue to consciously seek out opportunities to be still. To stop what I’m doing and take a few deep, smooth breaths when I am starting to feel stressed or am overthinking. To not respond to texts and emails the second they come in. To ask myself, “Is this actually urgent?” To simply stop where I am when out walking, and take in my surroundings. And to take Depeche Mode’s advice to enjoy the silence. 

What are your tips for finding stillness in your life? 

With gratitude, 

Natalie