Setting goals
Don't be afraid to set ambitious goals for yourself
I love setting goals for myself. Like, really ambitious goals that have a better chance of failing than being achieved. My friend Michelle once asked me, “Why don’t you set more realistic goals for yourself instead of these really difficult ones?” My answer is simple: If I fail at an ambitious goal, I come closer to achieving it than if I’d set a lesser goal for myself that wasn’t as difficult.
For example, every year I set the goal to get my mind and body in shape to run a half marathon. I don’t always sign up for an official half, but I like the challenge of knowing I can run 13.1mi if I want. Most years, I get up to a 10mi run and decide that’s enough. Others, I run the full half. But either way, setting that 16 week training goal for myself gets me closer to running a half than if I chose to only run a 5k or a 10k. Both a 5k and 10k are excellent goals, I just like the effect long distance running has on my brain, so that’s my personal goal.
Last year, I did 75 Hard over the summer. I found it kind of easy to complete since many of the requirements are part of my routine anyway… until day 65 when my mom’s health declined and she passed away. During those last days with her, my priorities shifted and I consciously chose to stop 75 Hard. Some people said, “Why?! You were so close to finishing?” It’s simple: I needed to be present and less stressed during an immeasurably heartbreaking time. The sense of accomplishment I’d gain from doing something for 10 more days that at no point had felt difficult nor rewarding over the previous 65 would have been negligible.
All of this brings me back to goals and the new year.
Don’t be afraid to set hard goals for yourself. It’s OK not to reach them.
But if you never set a hard goal for yourself, you’ll never come close to reaching it either.
It’s OK to “fail” at your goals. The important part is you tried, and because of that, you’ll more than likely try again.
Consider a person who sets out to play the perfect level of a video game. They play the level over and over and over until they know all of the moves, all of the tricks, and all of the timing. They didn’t lose after the first attempt and say, “Well, that’s it. I failed.” They kept trying. Your goals can be the same.
Whether you’re starting a diet, fitness routine, writing practice, whatever it is… I encourage you to set an ambitious goal and give yourself permission to not reach it. Strive to, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Not only will this help you work hard towards your goal, it’ll help you have a more forgiving relationship with yourself. And I think that is one of the most important goals you can hope to achieve.
