Sadness

Never in a million years did I think I’d be writing about sadness as a hopeful and helpful topic but here we are. 

My friend Molly recently gave me a set of oracle cards, and I drew a pair representing “What to let go of” and “What to bring in more of.” I was confused when I drew “happiness” for the former and “sadness” for the latter. Why did my angels want me to release happiness and bring in more sadness? Surely I’d mis-ordered them. But I took it as a sign to dig into the concept of sadness.

So, I thought about it while I journaled. Do we really need sadness? Is there a world in which sadness is somehow helpful to us? 

When I tell you I was shocked to find out there are proven benefits to sadness, I mean I was SHOCKED. But then when I thought about it, the side effects of sadness really started to make sense. 

Some benefits of sadness are: 

We build resilience. When we encounter a situation that makes us sad, we need to learn to cope with it to move through that part of our lives. According to one study, “Research indicates the experience of some lifetime adversity predicts lower functional impairment, lower global distress, higher life satisfaction over time, and fewer posttraumatic stress symptoms. Similarly, a moderate number of adverse life experiences is associated with more positive psychophysiological responses and less negative responses to pain.”

We become nicer people with better judgment. Once we’ve felt sadness, we may feel more compelled to do what is fair and to spend more time giving fairness consideration. It also helps us be less likely to judge other people. 

We can find motivation in sadness. When we are happy, there’s no reason for us to stop doing the thing that makes us happy. But if we’re sad, it’s a signal to the brain that something needs to change. 

We can also improve our memory. In one study, when participants were in a negative mood on a rainy day, their memory recall was sharper than those who were having a good day. This is also partially why we remember upsetting events better than happy ones. 

 Let me pause and mention that I’m not saying to go out and try to be sad, and if you are feeling depressed, you should definitely seek out some support. What I’m talking about is the casual sadness we experience here and there.

We all have a friend (or maybe you at the friend) who cries so often that it’s nearly on cue. Or maybe you are the opposite and feel guilty about showing emotion. No matter how you are wired, it’s important to know that you can and should express your sadness, and that there is a benefit to it.

It’s well-documented that ignoring your emotions can lead to an increase in mental health issues, and can also make us feel other emotions like shame just for being sad. I tend to do this if I’m sad “over nothing,” wondering why I can’t get out of the sad funk. But after looking into the topic, I’m now able to greet sadness with more understanding and gratitude. 

Sadness helps make us stronger and motivate us to move forward rather than staying in the same place. It can also help us be nicer to others, and there’s really no downside to that. This week, how can you feel your sadness 1% more instead of pushing it down or away? And when you do feel sad, can you turn it into some sort of motivating event even if it’s just motivating you to understand yourself on a deeper level? 

With gratitude,

Natalie

Resources

5 ways sadness is good for you. UNSW Sites. (n.d.). https://www.unsw.edu.au/news/2017/05/5-ways-sadness-good-you

Four ways sadness may be good for you. Greater Good. (n.d.). https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_ways_sadness_may_be_good_for_you

Tobore, T. O. (2023, May 12). On the beauty of sadness: It’s okay to say, I am sad, thank you. Communicative & integrative biology. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10184602/