Mistakes

Have you ever made a mistake? No, of course not. You’re perfect :) 

But for those of us who have made mistakes, we’ve probably felt the shame that can come along with them. This is a huge bummer because mistakes are how we learn how to do something. We’ve all heard the saying, “This isn’t my first rodeo.” Well when you try something for the first time, it is your first rodeo and you likely won’t have a perfect performance. Even if it’s your 100th rodeo, there’s no guaranteeing perfection. 

Believe it or not, there are lots of good reasons to make mistakes. When you make a mistake, you have to think creatively about how not to make it again. You also gain empathy for other people who make mistakes. Mistakes teach you to be brave, because admitting failure in any form can be intimidating. Mistakes also teach you a lot about yourself in how you react to them and how you treat yourself for making them. 

If everything went perfectly all of the time, we wouldn’t have products like penicillin, microwave ovens, bubble gum, and corn flakes. All of those were the products of someone making a mistake. 

So the question is, how can you overcome the fear of making mistakes? The first step is to acknowledge the fear of making mistakes. When I was young, I was so shy that I later learned people thought I was stuck up. It was super hard for me to make friends because I never wanted to talk to anyone, afraid I would say something stupid and get made fun of. Over time, I forced myself to be social, to tell jokes, and join in the conversation. To this day, I remember some of the moments where I told a joke and everyone stared at me like I was an alien before the conversation moved on.

But I kept practicing conversation even when I didn’t know what to say. Fast forward to the present where I frequently have to present to groups of people. It’s not unusual for me to find out what I’m presenting mere hours or even minutes before the meeting. In these contexts, it could be easy to get flustered and fear making a mistake, but I’ve recovered from all of my previous verbal blunders so I know I have the capacity to overcome any I might make while presenting. 

I’ve learned how to make friends with my mistakes, not berate myself over them. 

Mistakes can be tools to help us grow, if we let them. 

But hey, I get it. The idea of making a mistake can be scary, and the higher the stakes, the worse it can be. So why not create a space where it’s okay for you to make mistakes? If you can’t create that space for yourself in a high-pressure or public environment, do it at home. 

Make dinner using a new recipe. 

Draw a picture of a plant.

Do a puzzle without looking at the picture. 

Learn a new language.

There are endless ways to give yourself the space to make potential mistakes and then learn from them. 

The more you make mistakes and learn how to rebound from them, the more you build confidence in yourself, the more you trust that you can handle whatever it is life is going to throw at you, and the more you break through the unrealistic idea of “perfectionism” in all aspects of your life. 

This week, give yourself permission to make 1% more mistakes. Make the mistakes and learn from them, even if the learning is simply acknowledging that you survived the mistake. The more you practice this, the more you’ll be able to learn from and trust yourself over time.

With gratitude,

Natalie