Make someone feel special today

When I was a kid, my elementary school was on the other side of my backyard wall. My sisters and I would typically hear the morning school bell ring while we were still in the house getting ready. We’d hurry up, grab our backpacks and run around the corner to get in our respective class lines, always ending up at the end. 

But as we flew out the door, our mom would always yell after us, “Make someone feel special today!” 

I was cripplingly shy as a kid. I learned later that up until my mid- to late-teens people thought I was stuck up because I didn’t talk to them. That wasn’t the case at all. I was just shy! And I like listening to people talk more than I enjoy talking (that’s how you learn the best stories, too). So for me, it was a challenge to “make someone feel special.” Some days, as the final bell drew near, I’d agonize over how I was going to fit in a special compliment. But I’d do it. Sometimes it was as simple as, “I like your shirt” or “You did a good job coloring today.” 

We weren’t a family who ate dinner at the table every night — too many extracurriculars for that. But my mom would always follow up with us. “Who did you make feel special today?” and we’d recount what we’d done. There was no punishment if we didn’t follow through, she'd just say, “Ok, you can try again tomorrow.”

Eventually, making people feel special became a habit more than a directive. Now, compliments flow pretty freely from me. If I like someone’s outfit, shoes, whatever, I tell them. If I appreciate someone for even a small act, I tell them. It’s not an effort anymore, it’s become part of who I am.

My mom, Sheri, passed away from cancer in August ‘22, but before she did, my sister asked her where she picked up that phrase. Mom shrugged her thin, bony shoulders and said, “Nowhere. I just thought it up.” 

That was my mom. She treated everyone she met like they were best friends. She made people feel special everywhere she went. She addressed cashiers, mechanics, over-the-phone customer service people by their names. If she wasn’t able to catch their name during the conversation, she’d ask before leaving or ending the call so she could personally thank them and wish them a good day. 

I think about her directive a lot. “Make someone feel special.” 

Such a simple but powerful thing. 

We always hear phrases like “Smiles are contagious” and “be kind,” but in my opinion there’s something about making someone feel special that’s slightly different. There’s no self-interest in it. Does it feel good to know that you made someone else feel good? Sure, but that’s not why you do it. It’s purely altruistic. You do it because there is something special about each and every one of us, and we don’t tell each other that enough. 

I believe that a very simple way to be 1% better each and every day is to flex the muscle of making someone feel special. Edifying and building people up with no agenda. Making it a habit to spread kindness through one simple action. 

Comment on a friend’s Instagram picture. Tell a coworker you hope they have a great day. Thank your apartment building manager for keeping the place clean. Email your favorite newspaper writer and tell them you like their columns. We are connected to so many people, the options are nearly limitless.

So I’d encourage you to take a few moments and make someone feel special today. 

With gratitude, 

Natalie