Growth

One time, a family member and I were discussing a topic we disagree on. He said, “You’ve changed.” For a while that bothered me because he said it to convey disapproval of my opinion. But then I realized that while it was meant to chastise me, it was actually a compliment!

Can you imagine if we were all the same person we were at 16 years old? 21 years old? 30 years old? As we age, we grow. We change. We learn new things and have new experiences which all shape us and the people we become. 

That is called growth! And growth is a good thing. Even if you feel like you grew in the wrong direction for a while, you learned what you needed to do and now you’re on another course. 

Take a look at the picture I chose for today’s newsletter. This is a palm tree I recently came across. It grew in every direction possible. It started growing up, then moved out, and became some sort of angular loop before growing upward again. 

We are not much different from this tree. 

I always like to include some science to back up what I’m writing here, but as one study notes, “there is a dearth of theory on [personal growth] as a process.” So basically, even though there are thousands of books on the subject, very few studies have looked into how to achieve personal growth. There are some trends they’ve identified though:

• Growth-related goals
• Narration of the life-story from a growth perspective
• The growth mindset
• Striving towards meaningful goals with grit 
• The motivation to grow
• Satisfaction of basic psychological needs 

The paper continues, “These studies have been fundamental to deepening our understanding of this complex phenomenon and its related factors; they do not, however, explain it is an ongoing psychological process with distinct supportive conditions and subprocesses.” 

Ok, that’s a lot of jargon so how does it apply to us? It means that personal growth is PERSONAL. It will look different for you than it will for someone else. It’s also not linear (like the palm tree example).

There is no blueprint for how to grow and what that looks like for you. Some people act like they’re in high school for their entire lives, while others continue to grow and mature. Either is fine, because it’s all an individual and personal process. What is good for one person isn’t the rule for everyone.

So this week’s 1% Better challenge is simple: think about your own personal growth. How can you support yourself in your journey moving forward? If your path looks like that crooked palm tree, that’s ok! Give yourself credit for continuing to grow and change even under less than perfect conditions. Be open to the concept of growth. Be open to the idea that who you are today is not your final form. How can you learn from where you’re at right now?

With gratitude,

Natalie