Fun

I don’t know about you, but I struggle to “have fun.” I went to a college prep school, so learning was more about grades and getting into a good college more than it was about enjoying the process. Sports were more about competition in the division, not having a good time. Most of the things I spend my free time doing are geared towards output, not enjoying the process. 

Just being alive means we have to do all kinds of not fun things like going to the DMV, waking up early, driving in traffic, running errands, doing dishes every single day for the rest of our lives. I’m sure you can come up with your own personal list. And the issues we come across in our daily lives have health impacts on us. I’m not one who puts a lot of stock in surveys, but the American Psychological Association published one earlier this year that said 76% of respondents have health issues from daily stressors like politics and inflation. They report having “headaches, fatigue, depression, nervousness and exhaustion.” 76%...  that’s over 3/4 of people. Even if only half that number was accurate, that’s still concerning. 

If we aren’t mindful of how much fun we’re having — or not having — we might not have any at all. And what’s the point of everything else if we can’t enjoy ourselves? 

I often think of what my brother told me while he was teaching me golf. I tend to be tense, mentally running through the checklist of body parts being in place before a swing. Then he told me, “Remember, you’re having fun. This is fun.” Now when I’m golfing, if something is off, I reset and remind myself, “Natalie, have fun.” I instantly lighten up and my swing is back.

It’s equal parts funny and embarrassing how often (daily) I have to tell myself, “Natalie, have fun. This is fun. You’re having a good time.” But without that reminder from myself, I too easily slip back into overachieving, perfectionist, competitive mode. 

Last week I talked to a colleague of mine who is having a difficult time in his personal life. In the midst of everything, he still reminded us on the call to “have fun. Otherwise, why are you doing it?” It reminded me of a pencil case a friend once gave me that read, “It is not fun, why do it?” I ask myself that question a lot. 

Not a single one of us was put on this earth to spend our time chasing things that don’t bring us joy. Perfection is a myth, because what’s perfect to one person might not be to another. Winning trophies and awards is cool, but does it matter if you didn’t enjoy the journey; if you still feel stressed and wanting?

So, how can we disengage from our achieving, compliant, competitive natures and tap into what we individually think is fun? The answer will be different for everyone, but here are a few ideas:

1. Laughter: I’ve written about the importance of laughter before, but it’s the simplest way to enhance your mood. I’m not really one for a belly laugh, but whenever I let myself actually express how funny I think something is, I feel instant lightness. 

2. Self-talk: You can try the tactic of reminding yourself you’re having fun when you feel tension creep in. If you’re de-stressing with a coloring book and go outside the lines… oh well! There’s no coloring book contest you’re going to lose. Remind yourself you’re doing the activity purely for fun. 

3. Try something new: Learning new stuff can help take away the pressure to achieve. So what if you’re not Picasso, you can follow along with a Bob Ross episode and still have a chill, good time. And learning new skills also helps the health of the gray matter in your brain. 

4. Play: just go play something. Anything. A video game. A pick-up game in the park. Trivia night at the bar. Solitaire with an actual deck of cards. Go play something where there are no stakes other than having a good time. 

5. Gamify: Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to. That’s a fact. So figure out how you can turn it into a game. Thousands of apps exist to gamify the most mundane thing, like making your bed in the morning or drinking enough water. And people pay for them! So make a free version for yourself (or pay for one someone else already made) and add some fun to the game of life. 

6. Be silly: One of my mom’s most endearing qualities was that she was silly. Here’s an example: if her grandkids didn’t want to eat their vegetables, she’d put sprinkles on them. Sprinkles are nearly calorically negligible and taste like nothing. But if a kid won’t eat their broccoli, why not put a shake of sprinkles on it and make it fun instead of a fight? Whatever you have to do that is so not fun that it’s dragging you down, find a way to put some sprinkles on it. 

This week, let’s all be 1% Better by having fun! And if you’re not having fun, then stop and find a way to make it so. 

With gratitude,

Natalie