Be proud

I was raised to believe that being humble is one of the best character traits a person can have. And that “pride comes before a fall.” But I think that over time we as a society have oversimplified these concepts. 

As I’ve grown, I realized that I really struggle with pride. Pride in myself. I am rarely ever genuinely proud of myself, and I believe a big part of this is the relationship with “pride” that I built up over the years. 

If pride is bad, then why would I want to exhibit it? 

But if you break down the word “pride” and the different ways it can be used, it gets more complex. 

Being prideful is “having an excessively high opinion of oneself.”

Being proud is “feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.”

However, it’s a slippery slope from being proud to being prideful. The secondary definition of proud is “having or showing a high or excessively high opinion of oneself or one's importance.”

And there lies the delicate syntactical balance of being proud of yourself. 

Feeling proud of yourself is actually deeply important with regard to  your self-esteem and self-image. We all do things that SHOULD make us feel proud of ourselves. But learning how to self-congratulate  — especially if you were taught from a young age that pride will lead to a downfall — can be particularly fraught. 

A good barometer is motivation: are you exhibiting pride because you are genuinely proud of yourself or because you want to “brag” a little about your achievements? But even this can be tricky. I’ll give you a real-time example…

I just completed my MBA degree. Literally got the final grades a week ago and I’m DONE! I’m proud of myself, but I hesitated to share with my family and friends that I finished. Why? Because I didn’t want it to seem like I’m bragging. In reality, I’m just sharing something that makes me proud of myself. And the words of my mom’s friend come back to me often, “Tell me your achievements so I [and others] can celebrate with you!” 

Sometimes when we don’t share the ways we are proud of ourselves, we rob the people we love of being able to share these exciting moments with us. So being proud of yourself ironically isn’t always about you. It is in part about building community where we uplift each other.

So this week, I’m exploring ways to surface opportunities to be proud of myself, and gently testing the waters of how and when to share with others.

With gratitude,

Natalie